Goddamnit. I just got back into town last night fom a road trip with friends and I am still beat. Since I only live 30 minutes away from my parents and am going on vacation with them for a week after New Year's, I thought it would be cool if I spent Christmas Eve with my boyfriend. We were gonna go see the Hobbit (finally) and go to a party with friends later, and I would go out to my parents house early tomorrow, open presents, and cook brunch for everyone.

Well I told my mom and while she wasn't devastated, she certainly didn't sound happy...my little lister and my dad even less so. So now I'm torn, I know I will feel shitty no matter what I do, and my fucking depression has kicked into overdrive. Meaning that instead of doing last minute Christmas shopping or figuring out my life, I am still in bed crying because goddamnit, why does everything have to suck?

I know I just need to make a decision and be confident in it but it's so hard.